“In the universe, there are things that are known, and things that are unknown, and in between them, there are doors.” —William Blake
The month January is named after the God Ianus or Janus, the two-faced God/Guardian of gates, thresholds, liminal spaces, rites and doorways in Ancient Rome. He had two faces representing the importance of looking back and looking forward simultaneously in times of transitions. All endings have embedded in their soul’s code, a seed of the new. All new beginnings have embedded in the husk of their outer shell, an ending.
In Tarot symbology, there is a Hermit archetype who is also a threshold guardian He is often shown with the wheat, which provided soul and material nourishment in ancient times, and which must also be threshed, to separate the kernel from the chaff. The Hermit is sometimes also seen with the greek three headed dog, Cerebrus, who has three heads -two which look ahead to the future, and one which looks back. The Hermit, ( introspection/contemplation/assimilation/integration) within the human ego, must integrate the past before moving forward into the future. I think of Janus as being somewhat representative of this function when we step into the new. Of each morning. Of each month’s beginning. Of each transition.
There have been times in my past past age 20s early 30’s spiritual awakenings when I was all about the future, about striving towards evolving, and believing that growth meant ‘becoming more spiritual’ and rejecting the ‘non spiritual past’. In those times, I rejected so many parts of myself that I thought were embarrassing, shameful and un-evolved. I believed I wasn’t my past, and that I could simply side step those stories, and be on a completely different plane of reality about myself and my place in the world. I bypassed my problems with spiritual materialism and new age beliefs.
I was straddling worlds. One step in the new age, and no step in the past. But standing like this is not a true stance. Avoidance of my past and its stories and how they shaped me -a complete rejection of all of where I had come from, had me in a strange state in my psyche. I was full of anxiety and depression -there were ways I felt ‘spiritual’ yet ways I was ashamed and hiding. I was never content. Always wishing to be and do more more more to ‘get to where I thought I was supposed to grow.’
When I finally realized that looking at the past deeply, somatically especially (not just through my memory) and integrating my previous life lessons (somatically, especially) was the key to my growth and journey moving forward. This was a game changer for me, and I realized how integral the past is for moving forward. Two steps forward, one step back. It’s important to look back -really, truly, before looking ahead. My anxiety and depression dissolved with the hard work of integration (hermit archetype/space/solitude/inner work).
Looking back somatically and through writing, helped me see the past with objectivity, clarity and greater gratitude, and allowed me to integrate my life stories. It has given me greater presence in the present, and also, gives me a sense of trust as I move forward. I know where I come from. I know where I stood and how it shaped me -for better or worse, and I accept who I was and who I am becoming, as I journey ever awakening, into the future.
Janus stood at the center or middle ground between dualities- between beginnings and endings, life and death, barbaric and civilized, light and dark and all manner of polarities. He was invoked at the beginning of all ceremonies, and at the beginning of each month. He also ruled over all transitions- birth, death, marriages. We need allies in times of change, to support us in crossing over -whether that be a guide or counselor, friend or spiritual ally through our imaginal journeys. Ritualizing our transitions can support us in deepening our integrations and seeding the seeds of destiny towards our future journeys.
“It is wise in your own life to be able to recognize and acknowledge the key thresholds: to take your time; to feel all the varieties of presence that accrue there; to listen inward with complete attention until you hear the inner voice calling you forward. The time has come to cross.
— john donahue
What I love about doorways, is how they represent a kind of spatial transition point, from where I have journeyed, from the past, to where I am going in the future. Many cultures mark thresholds with sacred words or symbols of protection at different times of the year.
What is your journey story for 2023? How did it shape you? What baggage (patterns, behaviors, situations, etc) do you leave behind, but also, honor, for their sacred and challenging teachings? What seeds do you hope to cultivate more of for your 2024? As you cross the doorways in your home, contemplate this. For the next few days or weeks.
What simple ritual might you craft, to make more meaning out of where you have been, what you are leaving, and where you are headed?
All this to say, sometimes, we just have to cross over. Whether that means leaving a relationship, a place, a situation, a habit. Sometimes we just have to commit to the new. Sometimes we need to take out the scythe and move swiftly from the old and into the new, and sometimes, we need to trust, that the path has brought us exactly to this moment, to cultivate an attitude of gratitude, and see the whole story -the stalk, the root, the chaff, the kernel, the weeds, the sun, the stars, the hands, the earth and the other storylines shaped us in our becoming.
Perhaps Janus isn’t your threshold guardian. Who might you invoke or call in to your life, to bless this transition from 2023 to the new unknown, mysterious unfolding? Perhaps the non human world of plants or animals gives you a threshold ally?
Perhaps the divine feminine offers you a threshold guardian in the form of Mother Mary as doorway, Hecate as crossroads, or Sheela Na Gig as cosmic midwife or some other feminine deity that represents thresholds and crossings to you.
Mary image: Sanctified Souls
Anywhich way, change will come, And we have come a long way. Let us cross, and cross and cross over into the new. Changed. Seasoned. Ready. Awake. Alive. Eyes open. Heart wide. Mind wise. Hands humble and ready to serve, or act, or create, or change.