Apprenticing with the Old Secrets
cracking open the mysteries for greater personal and collective meaning
Image: Alexandra Dvornikova
I started my morning being woken by my almost 13 year old (who still sneaks softly into our bed in the morning for a cuddle). Initially I was annoyed, because I had fallen into a deeper sleep after waking at 6 am. And I was dreaming, a strange mysterious dream. A woman I once met, years ago, who used to facilitate women’s circles and red tent mysteries, was featured in my dream. She handed me a very feminine looking vessel -white with speckled red paint. As she put it into my hands she said, “Do you think you might be inside of an initiation?”
I mused at the vessel -the female form, the sleek craftsmanship. It was both ancient looking and futuristic. The colors, the paint crackles. I answered yes.
“Here.” she pushed my hands away. “You need this.”
Then she started handing me eggs. I struggled to hold the vessel in one hand while she handed me eggs -eggs that I was supposed to put into metal/silver containers (fish mouth like) which now appeared at the base of the vessel. A circle of six. Open mouths. Pregnant with waiting. I realized I needed to feed the vessel, for my initiation. I needed to feed the initiation. As I placed the eggs in the containers, the containers sucked around the eggs, cracking the tops slightly. I wasn’t clear if these were raw eggs, cooked eggs or eggs containing something yet to emerge. I mused at how difficult it would be to release the eggs, but also realized, it wasn’t about releasing. It was about offering and feeding. It was also a kind of sacrifice.
She also gave me a strange jar filled with metal pieces, hardware and tiny metal sculpted fish. I was supposed to feed the vessel’s base (which now not only had the open mouth containers for eggs, but also had a sea of fish encircling the bottom). I was to feed the fish the sculpted fish pieces.
And then I awoke, to my daughter squirming and cuddling next to me, asking what we were going to do with the day.
But the dream was thick. And I wasn’t ready to move into rational do mode. I needed to soften into the dream. And as the night veils were replaced with light, I remembered too: Pluto and the Sun move into Aquarius today. Pluto is a slow slow moving once planet now asteroid. It travels for about 20 some years in each sign, unpacking, layer after layer, transforming, changing, uprooting secrets, uprooting shadows, uprooting old stories, shapeshifting, psycho-pomping in the name of transformation. Pluto AND the Sun move together into Aquarius today. That’s significant.
Pluto is depth, is below the below, is deeper mysteries. Is Death, is underworld, is transformation, is power.
I’m no stranger to Pluto’s teachings. Most of my planets in my chart have been touched by Pluto in this lifetime (fifth house stellium in Sagittarius) and Sun, North Node and Jupiter 6th house Capricorn. Pluto touches our collective depths, and the sign it travels through tells us something about what it is collectively touching.
I am, you are, we are, the world is in a state of Change. Transformation is afoot. Whether we want to admit it or not. The terror and the beauty of it. The caterpillar of the world is dissolving, dissolving, dissolving. Some of us are beginning to get used to being turned upside down. Some of us are still fighting, resisting, kicking and screaming. Some are more consciously stating the obvious: I’m in a state of initiation. I’m transforming. I am not what I was, but I’m not yet clear on what I am becoming. Some of us have gleaned what we are becoming, and are actively strengthening this new identity, this new skill, this new superpower, this new and improved self. And are surrendering, surrendering, surrendering. I/not I. Poised and ready.
Image: Brook Shaden
I asked the tarot this morning, what do I need to understand the most about Pluto moving into Aquarius.
She told me: The Lovers card.
Relationship as Ecology. Relationship Ecology. The Spiritual Ecology of Relationships.
The ecosystem of relating. Interdependence more and more.
And Choice. Sleepwalking verses conscious choosing.
Relationship is a Spiritual Practice.
The spirit moves through us all -every encounter, every moment, an opportunity to see source in other.
I also pulled the 6 of Disks -which is connected to the Lovers Constellation. Balance. Serving and receiving. Justice, in the guise of the Merchant. Justice, the head of karma. In relationships, sussing our karmic patterns.
in ALL relationships
not just with my self.
It’s a big question. How do all of us serve other?
I think we’ve all been swimming deeply with depth. Apprenticing with the old secrets. Transforming the Self.
And now, we are called to step out and into
how am I here to transform the world? What is hurtling at me from the future? What do I need to stand with courage and strength to face? As I renew my vow to continue to cultivate my apprenticeship with depth, towards mastery -and service for humanity?
In a dream before the vessel dream, a woman was performing for a huge audience of young girls and women -of all colors, shapes and sizes -from different countries, with different socio economic backgrounds. It was a beautiful picture of diversity, dancing in one room. I was particularly struck by two little black girls in Wonder Woman suits. They were at the concert, because they wanted to feel the energy to better connect to their super power.
What super powers are we here to activate in others? Have you apprenticed deeply enough with the depth medicines to glean your why? your how? your where? your what? What are you here to do or what actions do you need to take to step closer to that?
Who are you here to serve, and how can you amplify your message, cultivate more deeply and with greater clarity your why and how and where?
All this to say: sometimes we have to crack open a dream, or a story, and ride that out to the next image, the next archetype, the next teaching, for the deeper message.
And then, answer the call truthfully: Are you in an initiatory process? What vessel are you feeding? Who is feeding whom? Are you feeding the vessel and is it feeding you? It’s reciprocity, this relationship with spirit in everything. How do you feed the old secrets? How do they feed you? Can you renew your vow on this special moment in cosmic time -as Pluto and Sun step out of Capricorn and into Aquarius? As we move towards the special cross quarter sacred holy day of Imbolc/Candelmas/Brigits day?
How do you feed initiation? How is it feeding you? How do you feed the living spirit of your craft and offer it as a service for humanity? Who needs you? Where are they? How can you find one another? What is your intention in terms of how do you now embark courageously out of the transformation of self into right relation with the world around you? What is calling you closer to your humanitarian mission?
Come out, come out….wherever you are. Game changers. Game Changers. Game Changers. Let’s revolutionize this world. Let’s assist it in its own evolutionary process. There is a lot of work to be done. A lot. Let’s do it with head, hand and heart. Mind, body, soul.